All Things DO Work Together for Good!

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, 
to those who are the called according to His purpose." 

Romans 8:28

     When Ted was three years old and his brother, George five years old, they were put into St. Anthony's Orphanage in Toledo, Ohio. The year would have been about 1939. There are a couple of versions of this story that have floated around the family, about how they got there. One story came from Ted's mom, and the other version from the family of Andy Billis, his biological father. I'll start with his mom's version.
     She and Andy, a Toledo cab driver, had been divorced for some time and he had visitation rights. Every weekend he would come get Georgie and Teddy and take them to his aunt's home where he was living. There his aunt would care for them while he drove his cab and he could visit with them when he came home.  According to Mom, one weekend Andy came and picked them up for the weekend and when the weekend ended and he didn't bring them home, she began to look for them.  After some time she found out that they had been taken to St. Anthony's Orphanage. When she confronted Andy about it he said, "If I can't have them then neither can you!"
     She was dating Ernest Gehrke at the time and the two of them went to the orphanage to get the boys back. There they were told that they couldn't take them back until they could prove that they could afford to raise them. They were required to have a certain amount of money in a bank account before the boys would be released back into her custody. She and Ernest began to work and save their money. After three years they were able to ransom their boys from the orphanage.
     Andy's version of the story was very different. We heard it from his "other" family years later after he died.  His second wife told us that he had picked them up for their usual weekend visit and when he tried to return them Mom wasn't there to receive them, so he took them back to his aunt's home.  It was during the depression and times were hard.  Andy's aunt had several children of her own and he had to work every day. After several days, when their mother didn't come for them and he couldn't find her, the aunt took them to St. Anthony's and dropped them off. She knew they would be cared for there and that seemed to her and Andy like the best option.
    Now, no one knows for sure the truth of this story and we probably won't until we get to heaven. Ted did remember his dad bringing candy to them and visiting them on a regular basis and he also remembered his mom and his grandmother coming to see them there. When they went to court three years later, custody was awarded to his mother and stepfather because they had established a stable home and were working steadily and had a bank account.  No doubt they wanted the boys and the judge recognized this. My purposes here are not to try to cast blame or discern the truth of either story but to look at how it affected the life of Ted Gehrke.
     They were two frightened little boys left alone in a strange place with strange women who were sometimes sympathetic, sometimes sever, probably overworked and unthanked, none of them "mothers", doing the best they could for homeless, difficult, rag tagged, abandoned children. Ted was a toddler and George barely five.  They must have wondered where their mommy and daddy were and if they would ever see them again. They must have wondered what they had done and what would come next. It must have been a terrible experience because as young as he was, Ted had vivid memories of it until the day he died.
     One of his memories that he retold over and over was of the breakfasts they were given. They had oatmeal and hot chocolate every morning for three years. I'm sure the oatmeal was nourishing and filled their tummys. It had probably been donated by some generous person, but it was boring and bad!  Ted said it was lumpy and by the time they got his portion to him, it was cold.  He would gag on the lumps and was never able to finish his breakfast. The "hot" chocolate was also cold by the time it reached him and had a thick scum that had formed on the top. When they drank it, the scum would stick to their top lips and without napkins they had to wipe it off with their hands.  They did this, of course with great glee, then would fling it onto a neighbor.  He remembered, with delight, that one time George scooped the scum off with his spoon, took aim at a Nun and got her smack in the face. George later accepted his beating gladly because he was the hero of the day with the other kids. The two guys laughed together at this memory when they were old men.
     Occasionally someone came to adopt a child. To keep from being separated, the boys  made a pact that if one of them were "interviewed" by perspective parents, they would act out and be as bratty as possible, so they could remain together. It must have worked because they stayed there for three years.
     Ted remembered also how protective George was of him. He fought many battles over his little brother, both with other children and the nuns. "Little Teddy" never got spanked but "Georgie" got it almost daily. Ted was grateful to his big brother for that for the rest of his life.
     Then there was the memory of the "great escape"!   Their grandmother lived close by and George at least, thought he could find his way back to her house, if they could get over the iron fence that surrounded the orphanage.  His plan was that they would wait until night time and scale the fence, then run to Grandma's house. He would boost Teddy over the top then go over it himself. 
     It was summer time and all the children were dressed in overalls. They were the short legged kind made of duct cloth like the rail road men wore. They were very durable and could stand up to active children and frequent washings.  The boys snuck out of bed and into the playground at the back of the orphanage after they were sure that everyone else was asleep...including the sister who had tucked them in. When they reached the fence, George boosted Ted up and over the top of the fence. When Ted reached the top, one of the iron posts went through the leg of his shorts. There he was suspended between heaven and earth and couldn't get himself free. George encouraged him to pull until he ripped the leg of the shorts and thus free himself. Ted struggled for several minutes then began to panic when he couldn't pull free. He started to cry and make noise and George implored him to be quiet. Ted knew that George was angry with him so he started yelling louder. George was angry, as a matter of fact he got so angry and desperate to shut up his little brother that he began throwing rocks at him. Finally though, he had to go back to the orphanage and wake a sleeping nun to come rescue his dumb little brother. Ted said George wouldn't talk to him for a week after that.
     Sometimes events leave marks on a life that time doesn't erase. That was true for Ted and George and the orphanage. For most of their lives they were only told their mother's side of the story and they grew up hating their dad because they were sure that he abandoned them just to punish their mother. They thought that they were never loved by him so they resented him for years. They felt like they had been worthless to him.
      One night as Ted and I sat in our yard talking about his experiences for  at least the thousandth time. I suddenly realized that he still felt victimized by it. He had a tendency to revert back to the experience every time something bad happened to him in life. After listening to him for a while, I asked, "Ted, when are you going to stop blaming every thing bad in your life on your experience in the orphanage and your dad?"
     He stopped and looked at me with anger in his eyes. I waited for the explosion, but it never came. His look changed from anger to confusion to resignation and to my surprise he said, "I do that, don't I?"
     I held my breath as he continued. "Well, I'm going to fix that right now!" Then he bowed his head and began to pray. He asked God to forgive him. He expressed his faith in God's goodness and His Sovereignty in his life, then he did the most amazing thing I ever heard him do... he thanked God for the orphanage, it's care of them, the nuns and their hard work and his dad who had done what Ted now knew God allowed him to do.  I was simply amazed. The result of that prayer... he never brought it up again. Ted lived for at least another twenty three years after that and he never again mentioned the orphanage except to use it as an illustration in a sermon.
     Several years later we met up with the Billis children, Andy's second family. They all loved and respected their dad. He had died by the time we met them but they were eager to tell us how they grew up hearing about their two big brothers, George and Ted. They told us that their dad had fought to keep them but was not in a position to take them when they went to court. They told him how proud Andy was of Ted's football playing in high school and how he'd drive over on Friday nights to watch him. They told him of how Andy bragged about his boys military service in the Air Force. When Ted heard these things he began to see the utter chaos that the divorce had caused in all their lives. He saw a flawed but loving father who simply didn't know how to handle life and he truly forgave his dad.
     The experience at the orphanage built traits into Ted's life that would serve him well. First it made him a very protective person, one who was extremely alert to danger. This alertness enabled him to save the life of a pilot when he was a control tower operator in the Air Force. It made him a protective father who saved the lives of at least two of his children. He also saved the life of a truck driver who turned his truck over in Key West, Florida.  The Air Force recognized this in him and made him the safety NCO of almost every base he was sent to. The experience focused his attention on the marriages of his congregation as a pastor and caused him to hate divorce and the havoc it reaps in the lives of people, with a passion seen only in those who have suffered it. In short, it helped shape his life, both in the Air Force and in the ministry.
     So we concluded that "All things do work together for the good of those who love the Lord..." even things like cold, lumpy oatmeal and cold, scummy, hot chocolate.