Ever Feel Forsaken?

"My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?" (Jesus, from the cross.)

     This is my first blog of 2015.  After the hustle and bustel of the holidays I went through a couple weeks of frequent naps.  I didn't want to leave my home.  The weather was bad and going out was an effort.  I had to make myself undecorate the house and put my pictures back on the hutch where the manger scene had been displayed.  Added to that there were the irritations of winter that comes every year. (This is when I most understand and envy the "snowbirds" in Florida and Texas.) These irritations made we whiny and out of sorts. (Going a couple weeks with frozen pipes and no running water will do it to the best of us.) All of this made me want to become a hermit!  My blog was the last thing I wanted to do.  (You can't reach outside yourself when you're being self-centered!)  but I gradually became so miserable that I couldn't stand myself, I started thinking of what I wanted my first blog of 2015 to be.  Below is what I came up with.  I hope it helps you.  It helped me to write it. :)

      Have you ever felt "forsaken" by God?  You pray but heaven seems like brass,... impenetrable.  You sing the praise and worship songs with a yawn.  You read your Bible and fight sleep,... and sometimes these periods last, what seems like, forever.  One saint referred to this as "the dark night of the soul".  Have you  been there?  I have to admit that I have and it has left me confused and empty.  It has caused me to question my faith and God's faithfulness.  But in the almost fifty years I have been a Christian, I have come to see that I'm not alone in this and there are answers for me.  Added to that, God has always been faithful in ministering to me after a period of drought.  I often think of Elijah who after being obedient to God, was forced to flee for his life into the wilderness.  There he endured physical suffering and despair until God finally broke through his little world and once again showed him his love and care and that He was still with him to defend him and take care of his needs.

     As I studied the subject further, I discovered David, "the man after God's heart", also had his spiritual desert experiences. In Psalm 10:1 he said, "Why do You stand afar off, O Lord?  Why do You hide in times of trouble?" Then again in Psalm 22: 1,2 "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me? Why are You so far from helping Me, and from the words of My groaning? O my God, I cry in the daytime, but You do not hear; and in the night season, and am not silent." Then in Psalm 44:23, "Awake! Why do You sleep, O Lord? Arise! do not cast us off forever."
     What's up with this? you may ask.  When I first became a Christian and surrendered my life, my joys and sorrows, my everything to Christ, I experienced a bliss something akin to a "mad crush".  I slept "somewhere between the sheets and the mattress" (to quote my husband, Ted), for weeks. When I prayed the tears flowed uncontrollably from my eyes because of the closeness I felt to God.  Christian fellowship with other believers was so sweet that I dreaded the days in-between Sundays and last but not least, Bible study and good preaching was like a thirsty, dehydrated person trying to get great gulps from a fire hydrant.  So when I entered my first "desert" experience, I asked the Lord, "What happened?"
     I guess it's akin to that moment when a new bride says to her groom, who wants to go fishing with his buddies and leave her home, "Well, I guess the honeymoon is over!"  And if anyone ever tries to tell you that their honeymoon was never over, don't believe them. They are either kidding themselves or trying to kid you!
     As a northern flower gardener I have come to see the wisdom in Christ's admonition to us to "Consider the lilies..." and I applied this to my changing emotions.  In the summer, the lilies are glorious.  They wave in the breezes and catch the eye of any passer-by with their brilliant colors, and the noses of even the blind with their sweet scents.  However in the fall their blossoms having already dropped, their leaves begin to brown and droop and finally lay on the ground awaiting a blanket of dried leaves to cover them and shield them from the coming snow.  Then in the spring, when the snow is gone and the sun is out once again to warm up the earth, a tiny green leaf pokes through the soggy old leaf blanket and waves at me as if to say, "Yoohoo,...hello, it's me! I'm not dead! I was just sleeping."
     So the Lord spoke to me through the lily and through the disappointed bride.  He taught me that the human heart is like the cycles He sets into nature.  Emotions wax and wane but His faithfulness is consistently there.  And when we fall in love with Him we hang on with the same commitment we promise at the alter or in the garden.
     My wise mother used to say to me, when she saw me struggling with a fussy child,  "Put that baby to bed!  He's tired, and when he's resting, he's growing!"  Now I don't know how she knew that, but since then it's been scientifically proven.  So is that same scientific fact true for us spiritually?  In the dry times are we "growing"?  When the lily is "resting" under that blanket of leaves and snow, is it gaining strength so it will be more brilliant and more fragrant next summer?   I'm not a botanist or a biologist so I can't give you a definitive answer to that question but it wouldn't surprise me if that is true.
     So lets look at some conclusions.  #1. Desert experiences in the Christian life are normal and to be expected.  #2. During these times we "hang on" by staying committed to Him through faithful worship, prayer and Bible study. #3. We wait on the Lord. In Isaiah 8:17 the bible says, "And I will wait upon the Lord, that hideth His face from the house of Jacob, and I will look for Him." then again in Isaiah 30:18 "....blessed are all that wait for Him."  and finally the promise that we are really waiting for in Isaiah 40:31 "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint!"
     Every emotion we experience as humans is temporary, sorrow, disappointment, grief, hopelessness, joy, laughter and elation, they will all change as we travel through this life (unless we stubbornly park on one of them, and even then that parking space is unsustainable).  Like ships on the sea, one minute we're "tossed in a storm", another we're "dead in the water" and still another we have "smooth sailing" and are making good time.  Knowing this and resting in the fact that "we have an anchor that keeps our soul, steadfast and sure as the billows roll" as the old hymn tells us, should make us content and unafraid as we face our "dark night of the soul".